There is so much complexity in the Word, and so much depth to the Hebrew language that isn't always present in the English language that I think it is really important to do two things:
1. Read every scripture on a basic, surface level. I think too often we can get ourselves in trouble when we begin to believe that the Bible doesn't mean something that it clearly has said. God didn't make any mistakes when He was inspiring the Word, and I am just going to assume that He is also sovereign enough to show up when they were translating it. If God said it, He meant it.
2. Then, after you have done that, dig deep into the mysteries of the Word and of God. The bible promises us that those who ask for wisdom will receive it. Ask God for wisdom in understanding His word, and THEN you can consult outside commentaries, and teachings from the church. Look for the biblical truth present in the verse or passage. How does this teach us about the character of God and the character that He wants us to have?
The NIV phrases Proverbs 31:11 like this:
"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
The ESV phrases Proverbs 31:11 like this:
"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."
But actually I love the New Living Translation bible's phrasing of this verse: "Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life."
I think I like it because it is simple and easy to understand. I am going to just hang out with the first part of the verse for a bit.
Her husband can trust in her.
My husband can trust in me.
Your husband can trust in you.
We all know that trust is such an important foundation piece for a strong and healthy marriage. This verse is speaking specifically about a certain situation and area of trust: finances, but it has such a greater complexity and meaning. Trust is crucial. Being in a marriage where you cannot trust your spouse can be one of the hardest things.
And honestly, I hit the husband jackpot. He certainly isn't perfect, but he is one of the most upright people I know. He has AMAZING integrity. I never have to worry about him not doing the right thing. Now, that's not to say he always does what I want him to do. But the man loves God and even when we are fighting or having issues, I know that his moral compass is not going to stray.
But, I have several friends who have found themselves in places where they honestly cannot trust their husbands.
And often times there is not anything they can do about it.
But there is one thing we can always do something about: ourselves. We can be trust worthy. The bible is so clear about integrity.
Be a person of integrity. Be a woman that your husband can trust. There are so many ways that a wife can do this.
1. Be open and honest with your husband. About everything. In every area where we hide things from our husbands we decide that we would rather hold on to and control the situation ourselves. This not only creates dysfunction but it limits the Lord's ability to work in those areas. Darkness and light do not mix and if we want God to work in our marriages we have to be honest with our husbands. This is not to say that Lord will never reveal something to you and expect you to just dwell on it and think about it before sharing it with others but we should never be deceitful.
2. Be above reproach. Keep yourself from the appearance of evil, in all situations, but especially in situations where your morality can come into question. It is simply not appropriate for married women to spend time alone with men that are not their husbands. This includes in person or online. Never put yourself in a situation where your husband would have a reason not to trust you.
3. Be a woman of your word. If you say you are going to do something do it! If you say to your husband "I am going to (fill in the blank) today" then do it. Obviously there will be situations that are out of your control but these shouldn't be the norm. Prioritize your word.
4. Do not lie. This should go without saying but there is so much junk out there in the world right now that says that men and women don't have to tell each other the truth or that little white lies won't hurt your marriage. But let me assure you that anytime you are caught lying the cost is often far greater than if you had just been honest in the first place.
5. Secrets are dysfunctional. There are things that are private, and that is okay. There are many things that we choose not to share with our children because it isn't their business. But I think most things can and should be shared with your husband. And there are things that are surprises, and that's okay. I am not going to tell my husband what I got him for Christmas early. But secrets are different, secrets are information intentionally kept from someone and they OFTEN cause harm.
6. Respect the boundaries and limits that your husband sets. This is especially true when it comes to finances. Trust me, it's never fun to have to go to your husband and explain that you have a secret credit card... Don't ask me how I know this. Because I don't want to lie to you. I am a woman of my word. :)
If we look at the second part of the verse we see that this is specifically addressing finances or resources. "And he will have no lack of gain" from Proverbs 31:11 actually uses the same Hebrew word as Psalms 23 when it says "I shall not want." A trustworthy wife, one that is honest and diligent and prudent about how and where she spends the family's resources, actually creates a situation in which her husband flourishes with her.
Since Proverbs was written in a time and culture where women could be considered a financial burden this is an amazing promise from the Lord. By being financially responsible and submissive to our husband's parameters we can actually create a situation where the Lord is able to further bless us, making it so that we lack no gain. Our husbands are richer because they have us as wives! We see in Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." If we, as wives, can be faithful with what we have, then not only do we prove to the Lord that we can be faithful with more but we make ourselves trustworthy wives.
Since Proverbs was written in a time and culture where women could be considered a financial burden this is an amazing promise from the Lord. By being financially responsible and submissive to our husband's parameters we can actually create a situation where the Lord is able to further bless us, making it so that we lack no gain. Our husbands are richer because they have us as wives! We see in Luke 16:10 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." If we, as wives, can be faithful with what we have, then not only do we prove to the Lord that we can be faithful with more but we make ourselves trustworthy wives.
So how can we specifically apply this verse to our lives this week?
1. First of all, is there anything you are being dishonest with your husband about? Is there something that you have felt the Holy Spirit leading you to share but have not wanted to? Spend some time in prayer and really focus on why you have a difficult time sharing?
2. If you do not already do this, have a chat with your husband about your family's finances. I know in many families the husband handles the finances and that's great. But ask, is there anything that I can do to be a financial blessing to our family? I also know that there are lots of families where the wife will handle all of the finances. This is also great, Just make sure you are transparent with where the family's resources are going? And ask your husband, is there anyway I could be a financial blessing to our family?
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