Making the Most of Motherhood

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I spent a lot of time reflecting yesterday on what it means to be a mother. There has been so much talk everywhere about what makes a good mother. There was even recently a TIME Magazine article asking "Are You Mom Enough?" I have a plethora of friends that have completely differently mothering styles than I do. I also have seen quite a few children who demonstrate a little better behavior than my sweet angels exhibit sometimes. I have well meaning people in my life who want to make sure that my children will be smart enough, adjusted to the real world, Christian enough, strong enough, athletic enough, wealthy enough, I even have one well meaning family member (who lives with us!) who is very concerned that my children's long hair will damage their eyes.

I reading mothering blogs, homeschool blogs, parenting books, the Bible (obviously), listen to amazing women of God speak on motherhood, am a member of green parenting boards. I get advice from my friends who I think are good mothers. I have a minor in child development that I got because I thought it would help me be a better parent. But, realistically, I cannot achieve every goal I set for myself when it comes to my skills as a mother. I simply cannot do it all. But, I can do something. So, if I have to pick and choose, there are a few things I would like to give and teach my children above all else.

So here is my list...

I would love to instill in my children a deep love and respect of who God created them to be. My children are different from any other children that I have ever met. They are unique and wonderful and it would be a shame to ask them to conform to anyone's standard other than the Lords.

I want to teach my children wonder and whimsy. I want them to look at the world as a wonderful place to play and explore, even as adults. I believe that children have this gift hardwired into them and instead of creativity and curiosity being praised and encouraged, children  are taught to 'sit down, be still, and don't ask questions.' I don't want to create a child who is told that they they can play for a certain number of years and then must prepare to be like everyone else and to do what everyone else is doing. Life is an adventure.

In nature, God is revealed. I want to share this with my boys. This world is a magnificent creation. It is not meant to be plundered, as some from the past have asserted. It is also not meant to be worshiped. Nature is here to enjoy, to draw us closer to the Creator, and to be stewarded with respect for the one that created it. Lady bugs and slugs and magnificent creatures. Don't even get me started on fireflies and blue jays. One of my greatest aims is to instill two things in the boys, first: a keen awareness of the effect that they have on their world and their responsibilities in caring for this world; and second: an understanding that God meant nature to be enjoyed, to be discovered, to be used and to be known.

I want to teach my children that their bodies are the temple of God. I want them to understand that it is important to take care of their bodies. That it matters what they put into their bodies and, equally as important, that it matters what they do with their bodies. We are not our own, we have been bought for a price and therefore must take into account what the Lord desires. It is not only a sin to abuse our bodies, both physically and sexually, but it also has devastatingly painful consequences. Also, on a positive note, we have the opportunity to offer worship to God through our bodies. While our bodies are temporal, God has given us the amazing blessing of being able to connect to Him through our bodies with things like fasting, dancing, sexual purity (which includes the amazing gift of marital sex), singing, and so many other ways.

I want to raise children that LOVE books. Books are wonderful and spiritual and beautiful. Art expressed with words is one of the best things about this world. Books allow us to connect with men and women that lived centuries before us. Books can teach us about anything and everything we would like to know. Books can open doors for us and expose us to worlds we might have no other way to contact. Books can teach in a technical sense but they can also teach human experience. If I raise readers, I will in many ways feel I have succeeded.

The loves of books is only one aspect of the next lesson I would love to teach my children. I want my children to love learning. I want them to learn because they have an innate need to understand their world. I want them to want to go to college, or travel the world, or do whatever it is they will eventually do because they have to know more of the world. I want them to feel responsible for their education. I want them to learn because they want to and not because it is expected of them. If dinosaurs and super heroes is what they want to learn about right now then great. They shouldn't know what the TEKS are and they shouldn't be denied learning experiences because it isn't in their curriculum. If I can inspire a love of learning and knowledge in them then I know that while today it might maps and automobile engines (this is actually what Ezra wanted to learn about today) tomorrow it will be something else. My children will be enriched because they have not only learned what they needed to know but because they choose to learn it.

I want my children to be unquestionably obedient. My personal conviction dictates that one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child is the gift of obedience. While Brandon and I certainly are not perfect, we always have our children's best interest at heart and more often than not we have a clearer understanding of a given situation. If Ezra and Elisha can learn to trust us and be obedient then one day they can understand and learn how to trust their Heavenly Father. I am willing to explain and discuss anything I ask our boys to do, after they have been obedient. It is important that they hear my voice and heed my word because I am charged with their protection. Just like it will be crucial that one day they learn the Father's voice and immediately heed His commands so they may have full and abundant life.

I want to teach my children about the gift of brotherhood. I am so extremely awed and blessed that the Lord would give Ezra and Elisha to each other in the way that He has. They are the best of friends and I want them to understand that their unique relationship as best friend brothers is meant to be cherished, respected, and welcomed. Do my children fight? YES. But, most days they are each other's confidant, best friend, superhero side kick, storyteller, partner, and journey companion. I express to them as much as possible how amazing it would be for them to go through this journey called life with a best friend that is also a brother. Thirty years from now, if they are still as close as they are today then I will have done what I set out to do as a mom.

I want to give my children love, so that they can love others. If we have not love then we have nothing. Part of being a Christian is loving the way the Savior loves. Obviously we are not perfect and we cannot meet every need of every person. But as Christians we have the unique position in the world of having a God that loves us and cherishes us so that we can love others. We can take care of the widows and the orphans. We love our families, our church families, we love those that hate us. We love those who live lifestyles different than ours. We love because God first loved us. I expect my children to love those who the world had disregarded. I desire for my children to win others to Christ by their great love for them. We can never win someone to Christ by proving that we are right and they are wrong. I expect my children to love people by telling them about sin, righteousness, and judgment. I expect my children to love people because they have genuine outpouring of the Spirit of God. I expect my child to show love to both the person getting bullied and to the bully. I cannot express with words the love I have for my children. It flows out of places that I didn't even know existed. I love God for giving my children to me and I love God for loving me first. If my children  love God and love others they will undoubtedly treat people they way they should be treated.

The final thing I desire to impart to my children is the understanding that this life is a gift. But more than that, I would like them to know that this life is a gift we did not earn, and a gift we did not deserve. Every moment that God allows us to take another breath is nothing short of  a miracle, an example of His love for us, and a desire to use us for His purpose. People who understand that their life is a gift are not jealous or boastful. They are not concerned with what is fair or troubled if someone else got more than they did. People who understand that life is a gift are thankful for their life and what they have. People who understand that their life is a gift from God are joyful. I want this for my sweet babies.